tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
Randomize
