You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
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