Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
Be still, my beating vagina.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
Randomize
