i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
He did a backflip because drugs
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
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