i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
he fucked my hip out of place.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
Randomize
