Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
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