Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
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