he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Randomize
