I only kidnapped one of them. chill
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
Randomize
