guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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