You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
