all she had left on were here heels. phone five
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
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