Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
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