dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
Randomize
