Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
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