I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
Whoa!!! Accidentally took a dump in chick's bathroom at Red Robin. 1 hr for coast to be clear. Women's farts sound like geese taking last breath. Liars.
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
Randomize