none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
Randomize