got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
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