Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
Redeem this text for a blowjob
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
Randomize
