Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
i love accidental penises.
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
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