it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
Randomize
