Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
smell my finger.
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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