We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Randomize
