The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
Randomize
