is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
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