How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
Randomize
