would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
Randomize
