Having a random hookup so left but love u
I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
Randomize
