She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
Randomize
