so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
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