i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
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