was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
Everyone says I win the strip club
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
