Things I've learned: after you move in with a girl it's much less satisfying to wipe your dick on her sheets after sex because now they're your sheets too
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
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