And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
Randomize