You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
You're earring is so big in my mouth
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
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