A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
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