at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
Randomize
