so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
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