I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
Randomize
