People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
I would fuck him just for his dog
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
