I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
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