we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
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