Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
Randomize
