My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Randomize
