You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
Best friends brother. Beat that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
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