Where did you get a picture of my penis
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
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