i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
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