ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
Randomize
