Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
Randomize
