When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
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