He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
Randomize
