I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
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