grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
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