Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Randomize