do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
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