So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
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