yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Randomize