Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
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I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
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Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
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