When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
I gave the guy a $20 tip on a $9 cab ride, he thought I was just bad at math but I was really just incredibly thankful to be alive and home.
I was like "don't worry, I'm a math major and you deserve the shit out of that 222% tip"
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
Randomize
